Striving for Greatness

My plans to be a mud-hut missionary were, at the least, put on hold towards the end of my year at GIAL. That was partially the cause and partially the result of the difficulty that I went through while I was in Dallas, and it was most of the reason for coming home.

One of the greatest joys I experienced during that difficult year was working in an after-school program at a local elementary school. So when I came home, I applied for every teaching-related position I was eligible for, and I was hired to work in a fifth grade classroom as an assistant. My love for the classroom only grew during that year. Around January, I decided to apply for my teaching certification. I looked online, and finished a program that I could do even at work. I was double-tasking all the time. I would watch the online videos with headphones while I stapled papers. I answered quiz questions while I waited on printing and graded homework. In May, I took my exam, and I got certified for my probationary year.

Now, I'm 11 weeks into the school year with my own classroom full of sixth graders. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but one of the most rewarding. Some days, I come home with only enough energy to walk to my bed. Some days, my students drive me crazy. But most days, they're the most wonderful people I know. They forgive without thinking about it. They surprise me with artwork. They accomplish things that they never thought were possible. They make me laugh with all the ridiculous things they say, and even more, they appreciate my jokes.

My new blog title seems every day more appropriate. Life is more enjoyable when we are satisfied knowing that we are in His will. It is He who makes our path, not us. When we try to take our lives into our own hands, even when it looks like His will, we only end up frustrated and dissatisfied. There is beauty in letting go of our ideas of the future, of our ideas of success, of our ideas of who we are, and then allowing Him to fill us with His idea of the future, His idea of success, and His idea of who we are.

For so long, I thought I had to be something great. Maybe I thought I needed it to impress God. Maybe I thought I needed it to make my life worth something. Who knows? But ever since I let go of my own idea of success - moving to another continent to share the Gospel and lead an impressive number of people to Christ - and just did what I could manage, right here, right now, I've had peace. God is God here just as much as He is God in Africa. He is God in a sixth grade English classroom just as much as He is God of the Sahara Desert and the Amazon Rainforest. When we are faithful to Him in our daily lives, no matter how small they seem to us, He is glorified. When we give Him glory, we fulfill our purpose. Maybe one day I'll do something great for the Kingdom that seems great in the world's eyes as well, and maybe I won't. Either way, I will strive to follow His guidance. It's much greater than striving for greatness.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 3:10